Life is so in God’s hands. His grace is so present.
A few things of note:
- Friends. I’ve been contemplating the various blessings I don’t deserve and although I’ve reiterated this a thousand times, I think it’s necessary to recognize how huge of a blessing that friends have been this year. There are so many awesome people here at Biola whom I don’t even deserve to know who have been teaching me things about life and about myself and inundating me with love and joy. I love it.
- Surfing. Words fall short in expression the feeling of truly riding a wave for the first time on Saturday. I was literally laughing for joy. Apparently, I “had the biggest smile on my face” according to Tim. That’s cool. It felt so good to break through the mental wall of whatever was keeping me down. To experience control over what I was doing and to sorta turn (still working on it) with the breaking point of the wave was incredible. So this is what it feels like. I could go back and ride those cute little mini waves over and over again, replaying them in my head. It was kinda awesome.
- Family. How did I end up with such an amazing one? To be able to record songs with my sister for my mom and text my dad and ask for advice and collaborate over Facebook with my youngest siblings whom I’m no less close to than everyone else about inside jokes, these things are truly gifts. I’m humbled because I don’t deserve these things or these people.
- Jesus. I just wrote my last Position Paper for Johannine Lit today. My last Bible paper at Biola. I used 0 sources in it as he asked us to write from our knowledge, purely based on what we had secured in our memory. I realized while writing it that I have learned so much about our Savior and so much from his life here at Biola. He is so indescribably good and amazing, this Servant King who took on shame as part of his task of repairing our relationship with him. His love is overwhelming, and who he is…just blows me away. If this were the only thing that I got from Biola these past four years, it would be completely worth it.
Though I know I have a long way to go, I want Him to be proud of me. Don’t forget this, Beth, that He has been extremely generous, and the least you could do would be to give it all back to him.